Ashamed of Us, 2fools4Christ? Do Not Fear!

Well, it looks like mother and I will be trying to relax up here in TN until tomorrow morning. God is good. We will praise Him no matter what – we had these same issues from 2010 to 2012 in getting to see the right judge on the right day, but God was orchestrating miracles all along the way. We were able to look back and see that and we can still see that today and know that this time He is still for us and loves us with an unfailing love. Though we struggle we do not fall. He upholds us with His righteous right hand. He has plans for our good, to prosper and not to harm us and for us to have a future and a living hope. We do have a living hope. Like Jerry Dingler said to me in his letters from jail, “But we are not like those who are without hope. We do have a living hope in our Living Lord!” Our Lord does not abandon the work of His hands and He completes the good work that He began in us and He is faithful to complete it.

Friends, you do not need to be ashamed of us for being here. You do not need to fear for us or for our or your or the Lord’s reputation. God is in control. This following verse helped me when I was feeling condemnation towards Jerry as God Himself was dealing with Jerry and his walk with the Lord: Romans 14:4 ” Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.” Like wow! I hope that hits you like it did me several months ago! I was trying to control every minute detail of our lives and fix Jerry and our family – with tons of prayer and prayer books and being “perfect” myself in order to help him not be ever stressed out in any way and maintain harmony in the house and make sure he read his Bible every day and prayed every day and prayed with me, blah blah blah…

God told me to get out of the way! He said “I am Jerry’s Lord and Savior, not you. How can Jerry hear the still small voice of my Spirit when you are hovering and smothering and criticizing and accusing and demanding all of the time?” God also let me know to love like He loves… uhm… can you say not easy? Hard? Reluctant? But can you also say, OK? And forgive, and when you see someone really trying, be there for them and encourage them when they are truly trying? Can you swallow your right to be angry and feel betrayed and worried and want to punish and make them regret their behavior and make them mean it and feel some of the anguish that they have caused you?

AND NO YOU CANNOT DO THIS WITHOUT SURRENDERING COMPLETELY TO THE LORD AND LETTING HIM DO THIS WORK IN YOU FROM THE INSIDE OUT AND THROUGH HIS HOLY SPIRIT.

It starts with the choice to surrender to Jesus, to know that you cannot do anything without Him and that you choose to be obedient to His call to love as He loves, to love God with all that you are and to love your neighbor as yourself… love your spouse, love your sister, love your brother. I am mainly speaking right now of my own experience with my sweet husband, a man that I know sincerely never wanted to be in jail again. That never wanted to do anything to separate himself from his family or the Lord. A man that prayed for God’s will to be done and meant it. A man that started out on a journey of complete surrender in 2010 that has brought him to a deeper level of understanding of the fullness of the love of Jesus.

I call it a miracle now in the name of Jesus. I am seeing prayers fulfilled over and over – because we did pray for complete surrender to God’s will, for His way or no way, for His leading, guiding and filling – every day. Maybe he or I meant it more one day than others, perhaps we stumbled in addictions, actions, attitudes, motives – perhaps we sinned/sin along our journey to see the face of Jesus. We struggle with our flesh all the time between our spirit and our flesh they are at war with each other, but that is also how we know that God is at work in us. We do not want to do the things that we used to do. We pray and wish and hope and yearn for the day that we never ever have to battle this flesh again. We are told to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling. Yes we are saved by grace through faith in Jesus. That is why He died for us. He knew we needed Him to cleanse us of each sin, past present and future. Jesus knew who we were when He called us to accept His free gift of salvation and yet still loved us. And God has a reason for our journey. I know it is also to touch each of you that found yourself reading these words. I pray that God’s purpose for you to read this is fulfilled and I know that it will be. He knew your story before you were formed and born into the world. He loved you then and He loves you now. Please surrender to Him, today. ❤ God bless you!

M3367S-4504 Bible-John-3-16-17b

Sinners-Prayer

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A New Level of Pain – A New Level of Faith

A new level of pain – bringing a new level of faith and strength from the Lord and more rejoicing and more hope!

Half the day is gone and I have mostly cried it away – crying with the pain of missing my husband and not knowing when he will be able to return to me and our babies, not knowing how I will provide for us while he is away, crying out for comfort and peace and in faith knowing that Jehovah, Rapha will heal us all, He is Jehovah Shalom, our peace, and Jehovah Jireh will provide! Also crying with thanksgiving for the spiritual growth and sweet presence of Jesus that we are experiencing. Praising Him with tears because I know that He is good! And I trust Him! And this is answered prayers from me and Jerry. To be in this place of complete surrender.

Crying? Yes. Hurting? Yes. But this reminds me of something that Paul wrote:

2 Corinthians 4:7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

13 It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.”[b] Since we have that same spirit of[c] faith, we also believe and therefore speak, 14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. 15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

I wrote in my journal recently about having this treasure, this all- surpassing power that is at work in us from God and not from us – and that it in us, jars of clay…. molded and shaped by the Potter.

Who are we the clay to question the Potter. He made some us weaker. I praise the Lord that He loves jars of clay. I praise the Lord that He comes to the poor and the needy. I praise You Lord that You love me and Jerry and that You picked us up out of the miry clay and set our feet on the Rock! I thank You Lord for Your presence and power that is getting us through this and with strength and the power of Your might and not our own. We may be down, but we’re not out. We may face consequences on earth for past mistakes but You are our Judge and our faith is worth far more than anything on this earth and we mean this with all of our hearts! May Your will be done and I praise You and trust You to lead and guide and direct us through this time. I know You will provide for every emotional, spiritual, physical and financial need. I thank You for my faith.

I have prayed and Jerry has prayed the words to two very bold songs. I am going to link to them in this post.

We invite you to join us in our brokenness in the sweetness of His presence and His healing and peace and power. There is no love like the love of Jesus! There is no life without abiding in Christ! May you be blessed to be as desperate for Jesus as we are. I trust Him with my death, eternity AND my life.

Did I realize in those verses above exactly what dying daily meant? Do Christians today understand this? Is Jesus truly Lord of your life? Examine your heart today. If you want more of God, more of His presence, are you willing to be pruned, go through the refining fire and the cleansing flood? I tell you it is worth it! I testify that Jesus is worth it!

Not just meeting Him in heaven…. we are told in His Word that a faith that perseveres to the end will be rewarded. I wanted a real and genuine faith. I asked for it. I prayed for it. I never wanted another rock bottom experience. I now realize that the rock bottom is what got me to the mountain top. His presence is sweet in the rock bottom. No, I do not want rock bottoms that come because of my mistakes or my husband’s mistakes. But I am thankful for the experiences that have caused me to taste and see that God is good. I am thankful for the times that have made me run to my Father God through Jesus shed blood and accept His forgiveness and rest in Him.

Hallelujah! God bless you. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and may God richly bless you with more of Him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m_sWJQm2fs <- Link to Hillsong United “Oceans”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UI1obeb3A9c <-Link to Sidewalk Prophets “Keep Making Me”