I have seen people in relationships stay together because they have both become addicted to prescription medications (or illegal drugs, or alcohol, or the money they make together, or having an appearance of success, or having perfect kids, etc…) even though they are miserable. The drugs, alcohol, pressures of earning $, trying to keep up with making your kids turn out perfectly, or pressures of maintaining a false front cause them to become so weary that they cannot keep up with the demands required of them to continue giving more of themselves to the addiction AND the relationship.
The relationships die first. Their marriage and their children suffer the most. Then extended family, friends and their jobs suffer. They also are suffering physically, mentally and spiritually from the effects of the drugs, rat-race, etc… Then they become more and more unhealthy in their physical bodies. Finances crumble and escape them. Sometimes legal issues interrupt them, sometimes it is their health that gives them a scare…
And if they wake up then they are much more likely to turn it all around. But if not, then they end up killing relationships and themselves, slowly but surely…
The addiction never dies… And SIN is what this is called. We are all guilty of it in some form or fashion. But praise be to the Lord God who gave us the answer because truly, if we come to know Jesus, then we can be made new and change this destructive cycle of living!
SIN is just a name for destructive behavior. We like to get upset if what we are doing is called sin… But God had to give a name to what He knew was behavior that would not benefit us and He calls it SIN – which means “missing the mark” or “falling short of His glory” – God’s will for us is for us to prosper and be blessed to be a blessing to others. We are not going to prosper if we continue to choose to fall short of His glory by choosing to do things that He told us and we know will kill us, steal our joy and destroy our family.
Can we be saved and keep choosing to live these lives of lies? I cannot say if you are saved or not… But let us ask this question of ourselves and ask the Lord to give us the answer: Do I trust Jesus? If we say “Yes, but…..” Then we need to work out that but… There is no sin that He won’t forgive. There is no human that He will not forgive and come into their heart to live inside of them and to help them to love and be loved.
Jesus says: “Come to Me all of you who are weary and who are heavily burdened and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
Are you weary today? Do you want true rest? Jesus will give you rest because He carried ALL of our sin to the cross and nailed it there (Colossians 2:14). He has already paid the price for your soul. He already knew you when He died on the cross. You were chosen before the foundations of the earth were laid. He wants to come into your heart and give you rest.
Many couples stay together for the wrong reasons… if you claim to love and trust Jesus and you are married then surely you can stay together and work on your relationship for the right reasons. If you truly know Jesus, then you just need to press in to Him and listen to the Holy Spirit for guidance.
If you are one of these couples that has just run out of all hope because you are both addicted to something, especially alcohol or drugs, PLEASE ADMIT THAT YOU NEED SOME ASSISTANCE AND GET SOME HELP FROM A FAITH BASED DRUG & ALCOHOL ADDICTION PROGRAM, CELEBRATE RECOVERY GROUP, AA, NA, A DOCTOR, TELL SOMEONE THAT YOU TRUST, FIND HELP FROM SOME FACILITY OR PERSON THAT YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE GOING TO FOR HELP….. You cannot do it all on your own and Jesus never intended for any person to go it alone, even though He is with you. Jesus gave us one another to lean on and bear each other up. So do not think that you have to do this alone!! That is part of what is keeping this phenomenon going!! Shame and guilt! But if you want out of this destructive cycle then all you have to do is admit it and seek help. Only Jesus will get you set completely free of all of the chains that bind. And He came to save, not condemn (John 3:17).
AND IF YOU KNOW A COUPLE LIKE THIS AND IT IS NOT YOU: SHAME on YOU if all you do is discuss them with others and criticize their weaknesses!! Jesus weeps for us when we are lost like this. Do not make them feel like they have no where to go for help. A LOT of people in this situation stay there because they just do not know how to get out of it. The Bible tells us that the lost are stumbling around in the darkness because they are blinded. Who is going to share light with them? Are you? Or are you going to sit back and watch them and criticize them for their blindness or laugh at them for not being able to see like you? Pray for them. Pray for the sorrow that comes from God granting them mercy that leads to repentance. Pray for grace to abound in their life so that they come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Just as we have been forgiven may they be forgiven as well. (Again, I am not saying that everyone in this situation is “lost” and doesn’t know Jesus at all… some are learning and just need help growing up in Jesus and maturing as believers. Are we really discipling others?)
**disclaimer** This post is NOT about any one couple or anyone in particular. I do know a lot of people that this could apply to where they have either been there, are there, or are headed there…. or were there, were coming out of it and now are struggling with it again… Take your pick but don’t even bother with trying to figure out “who is she talking about?” If the shoe fits, then wear it if you need to until you can get past this. And yes, we have been there so I am speaking from personal experience as well.**