A new level of pain – bringing a new level of faith and strength from the Lord and more rejoicing and more hope!
Half the day is gone and I have mostly cried it away – crying with the pain of missing my husband and not knowing when he will be able to return to me and our babies, not knowing how I will provide for us while he is away, crying out for comfort and peace and in faith knowing that Jehovah, Rapha will heal us all, He is Jehovah Shalom, our peace, and Jehovah Jireh will provide! Also crying with thanksgiving for the spiritual growth and sweet presence of Jesus that we are experiencing. Praising Him with tears because I know that He is good! And I trust Him! And this is answered prayers from me and Jerry. To be in this place of complete surrender.
Crying? Yes. Hurting? Yes. But this reminds me of something that Paul wrote:
2 Corinthians 4:7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
13 It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.”[b] Since we have that same spirit of[c] faith, we also believe and therefore speak, 14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. 15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
I wrote in my journal recently about having this treasure, this all- surpassing power that is at work in us from God and not from us – and that it in us, jars of clay…. molded and shaped by the Potter.
Who are we the clay to question the Potter. He made some us weaker. I praise the Lord that He loves jars of clay. I praise the Lord that He comes to the poor and the needy. I praise You Lord that You love me and Jerry and that You picked us up out of the miry clay and set our feet on the Rock! I thank You Lord for Your presence and power that is getting us through this and with strength and the power of Your might and not our own. We may be down, but we’re not out. We may face consequences on earth for past mistakes but You are our Judge and our faith is worth far more than anything on this earth and we mean this with all of our hearts! May Your will be done and I praise You and trust You to lead and guide and direct us through this time. I know You will provide for every emotional, spiritual, physical and financial need. I thank You for my faith.
I have prayed and Jerry has prayed the words to two very bold songs. I am going to link to them in this post.
We invite you to join us in our brokenness in the sweetness of His presence and His healing and peace and power. There is no love like the love of Jesus! There is no life without abiding in Christ! May you be blessed to be as desperate for Jesus as we are. I trust Him with my death, eternity AND my life.
Did I realize in those verses above exactly what dying daily meant? Do Christians today understand this? Is Jesus truly Lord of your life? Examine your heart today. If you want more of God, more of His presence, are you willing to be pruned, go through the refining fire and the cleansing flood? I tell you it is worth it! I testify that Jesus is worth it!
Not just meeting Him in heaven…. we are told in His Word that a faith that perseveres to the end will be rewarded. I wanted a real and genuine faith. I asked for it. I prayed for it. I never wanted another rock bottom experience. I now realize that the rock bottom is what got me to the mountain top. His presence is sweet in the rock bottom. No, I do not want rock bottoms that come because of my mistakes or my husband’s mistakes. But I am thankful for the experiences that have caused me to taste and see that God is good. I am thankful for the times that have made me run to my Father God through Jesus shed blood and accept His forgiveness and rest in Him.
Hallelujah! God bless you. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and may God richly bless you with more of Him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m_sWJQm2fs <- Link to Hillsong United “Oceans”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UI1obeb3A9c <-Link to Sidewalk Prophets “Keep Making Me”